Emotional abuse of failure

"Your reality is your strength," said someone to an entrepreneur who had closed his business with a massive debt which was not able to cope. "Your situation is what it is, for better or worse. It is with what you have to play to get ahead."

It’s hard to believe that when you are in the middle of the problem. In fact it is easy to understand these words as a delicatessen of someone who is not suffering the consequences of the emotional abuse of failure. From that conversation I drew conclusions about what those who are suffering in this situation really suffer, such as:

Engaging in the problem is living it as a life or death event, continuously analyzing every detail, reviewing every action with the intention of finding the fault. However, nothing will be found, because there are no faults. If you have acted honestly, why is that temporal reality assumed as a personal episode.

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Considering yourself a con man is a feeling that often emerges when an honest businessman has taken action with its customers and is not able to meet the commitments under the agreement. Not on a whim or for avoidance strategy, but pushed by the economic reality of their sector. If this possibility arises from a global economic crisis, why should one feel a scammer? That feeling is just the psychological appeal of the person that wants to meet his obligations and cannot do so, which in itself is already a sign of honesty.

Taking it personally is all natural when entrepreneurship is at a small scale, because the direct contact with the users of the product that is placed on the market is inevitable. No middle management where cushion the management exist, so when actions lead to success, you live in first-person their effects, just as happens with failure. To overcome this feeling you have to realize that every move that has been done has been included in a corporate legal framework, so the person should not be the basis of any resolution, but the company itself.

Constantly living in fear is the result of that direct relationship with the users of the product. From the moment a map of breach of the obligations with suppliers or customers is set, the fear is constant, because it is possible to meet face to face with them. The fact of have been working hand in hand with them helps very little because the injured personally prefer to treat the problem personally before tangling with legal rulings. But the entrepreneur must assume this reality, going away from people, and look to the legal framework to ensure the compliance with the obligations. At the end, the way of meeting with everyone does not always have to be talking face to face.

Never relaxing is a big problem, because there is no time for seeing the reality outside and finding an alternative path. It is extremely difficult to assume time calmly when you have a very pure sense of responsibility, but is of high priority doing it. When being in constant tension, perspective is lost and you don’t think clearly. To resurface the problem there should be a time of peace where again regenerates optimism, confidence, and security in the values ​​of the individual.

The solution is to disconnect, even for a few days. Being away completely from problems, complaints, legal threats ... Once again, problems remain in the place where they left off, but the vision has changed dramatically, because they have understood that beyond this situation there is another reality, and it is the reality of the person.

image: @morguefile

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